I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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