There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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