i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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