I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
