Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
