his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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