she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
