if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
