I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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