smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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