I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I need moral support for this bender
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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