Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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