Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You are the jesus of drinking
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
