fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
