I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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