Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
