I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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