Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
