He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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