remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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