For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
