Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
