Swine flu. Run for my life!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
