Sponge bath it is.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You can't special order awesome
farters have to be the big spoon...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
