Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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