Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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