I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
