There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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