happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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