I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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