Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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