Where is the hickey?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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