Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
