Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
