you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
