I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
