Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
