Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
