like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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