Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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