I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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