You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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