Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
