wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
