Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I supernannyed him into submission
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
