he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
why do cheetos always look like penises
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
