ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
