when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
