you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
