We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
