I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
